It’s crystal clear enough to show how everything wasn’t getting serious at all, before the K words – Shomiyatul
K words is belong to Khitbah. Khitbah in Moslem is an activity which a man was declare to marry a woman through a process of consent granted, from the groom to be to the parents of the bride to be. Maybe its easier to imagine about Khitbah as many people know, engagement.
After Khitbah, a woman got a new status that is Makhtubah. A Makhtubah will protected in the bond. Its mean that was a bond lead up to the marriage. The relationship are for get to know each other. But if there’s a Incompatibility this phase can be resolved amicably.
Since I’ve lost my 5years relationship i just think a lot about how a boy and girl relationship used to be. I think a lot, read a lot and learn a lot. I got a conclusion for my self that is, a relationship will never getting serious before Khitbah. Why? Because..
first, I do believe that love(or another relationship) between human(as known as Habluminannas) is immortal.But love(or another relationship) between human and Allah(as known as Habluminallah) is mortal.All the love in the universe is only His deposit. The true love it self is only His love to His creature.
Second, i can’t even protect my self from another boy and so did my boyfriend can’t even protect him self from another girl. My boyfriend can’t even protect me from another boy and so do I can’t protect him from another girl. There is no written rules neither Al-Qur’an nor Al-Hadist. Well if my boyfriend caught cheating, i have no premise to angry.
Third, it’s Haram (forbidden or proscribed by Islamic law) for another man to approach a woman who has become Makhtubah especially if the man asking khitbah to the woman who has become Makhtubah. Khitbah protect myself in bond and it’s a duty to keeping heart for Makhtubah
it’s sounds strict, but for me khitbah is protect me from apparent sincerity, temptation of zina, love excess to humans. I thought, I was supposed to love Allah more than loving human. It doesn’t mean that I don’t wish I’ll fall in love with someone, but I wish when I fall in love it’s all because Allah(Lillahi Ta’alla). I’m believe, that a soul mate is someone who we want and Allah wills.
This perspectives is not right or wrong, not the best and not the worst too. This value applies only for me. without generalizing all human relationships. because, this is just a value that I keep in my faith in love. Bismillah, hopefully I can be consistently carry out my faith, Aamiiiiin..